Please Hang Up and Text Me

My hubby came home from work today and our conversation went something like this:

Hubby:  I found someone who just might be your soul sister.

Me:  Oh really? And just exactly who do you think is my soul sister? (I already have 5 blood sisters, so this should be good)

Hubby:  Maya (Not her real name)

Me:  Really? Maya? Why would you think she is my soul sister? (Don’t get me wrong, I like Maya, but I don’t know her all that well. We don’t hang out; we don’t text, and outside of work, I don’t ever see her, so this took me by surprise.)

Hubby:  Because you both have an absolute hatred for talking on the phone. She broke up with her boyfriend because he had one thing she asked of him; all he had to do was make the phone calls. Dinner reservations? He better call or they eat in! Apparently he stopped living up to his part of the relationship, so he had to go.

I don’t know that I would go so far as to say Maya and I are soul sisters, but it made me realize that I have voiced my hatred for talking on the phone so loudly that my hubby knows that if something needs to get done and it requires a phone call, he had better take the initiative. This really comes as a surprise to me. I have never set out to make it known how much I hate to talk on the phone, but apparently I have made it perfectly clear.

Here’s the thing; talking on the phone is exhausting. It’s awkward; it’s uncomfortable; it requires too much thinking; I feel put on the spot! I really, really hate talking on the phone. Texting is so much easier. It’s less intrusive, and I can take my time formulating my thoughts before responding. I hate talking on the phone so much that even my sweet nieces, who I absolutely adore and miss terribly, will not get me to pick up that damn phone! In fact, when that phone rings, regardless of who it is, I almost get a little panicked because it means I have to intentionally decide to let it go to voicemail, knowing full well, I will never answer that voicemail.

On the other hand, I will text all day long, provided I have time. I am very comfortable texting, and I find I’m much funnier in text than in person, too! 🙂

 But there is an awkward moment when you’re texting someone and then they call you! Do I pick up? Do I not pick up? I would say 99% of the time, I don’t pick up! If I won’t even pick up the phone to make a doctor’s appointment, I sure as hell won’t pick up if we’ve been texting and having a good conversation all along. Why ruin a good thing by actually talking? 😉

Now you know that I won’t even pick up the phone to call the doctor. Can I just tell you how much I love ZocDoc? OMGosh it has been life changing! I can make a doctor’s appointment right there, online! I never have to talk to a receptionist who is just going to put me on hold and ask me the same freaking questions over and over again because she keeps putting me on hold, forgetting to write down the information I was providing her! Telling a stranger, over the phone I have a UTI even one time is humiliating enough, but making me repeat it for all the entire office to hear is just down-right mean!

Did you know you can even book your hygiene appointments online? I don’t have to talk to someone to schedule a bikini wax! Again…it’s humiliating enough to have one done; don’t make me say it to you over the phone when I don’t even know who you are.

I have to mentally prepare myself for the appointment; having to mentally prepare to make the appointment will take added time. By that point, I’ve grown a forest!

Modern technology has been a saving grace for this secret introvert! So for all those out there who want to talk to me via phone…I don’t care if you’re family, my hubby, my friends…I have one piece of advice that will make our relationship so much stronger and healthier: